Monday, August 5, 2013

Time's ticking

It's been a quiet, uneventful past few weeks for us in terms of treatment. Soph's counts are up, she eats a few grains of rice here and there. We have one week til our 5th cycle of chemo, next Tues/Weds. Then it's being on edge for another 2-3 weeks afterwards for low counts, warding off fever, possibly transfusions, all while trying to get her started in kindergarten on the 22nd!

So with the impending arrival of the 5th member of our family, it's been worrying me a lot these days.

Definitely was not intentionally planned, but don't most people say that? We are bit (a lot!) nervous, given our present circumstances, but I keep thinking of the 1 Corinthians verse where God will not give you more than you can bear. Granted that verse is in the context of temptation, but temptation can also mean trials/testing. I don't know what life will be like with Sophie's treatments and a newborn, but we have no choice but to trust in God and rely on Him for help. It will be especially daunting as Soph's 7th treatment will be right before the due date, and treatment 8 will be when the baby is 1 month old. Though Soph and I are buds, she definitely prefers mom when the going gets rough.

Also, what will we do with the unplanned trips to the hospital? Jeannie has been doing the heavy lifting with those trips, arranging for care for Seah, while I've been tied up at work, or been traveling. I won't be traveling around that time, but I worry about being able to get out of work. They've been completely understanding at the new company, but it still being a new job, I'm hesitant these days to ask for too much flexibility.

Even these days, I just want to fast forward 6-8 months. Soph's chemo will be done. We are not naive to think that everything will be ok then. It will take time for her to wean off TPN, get some strength, gain some weight (hopefully!), and try to adjust to a non-chemo schedule. A big part of me is hoping that everything will be the way it was before, but I know that's not the case, and she will likely continue to have some challenges, some we will not expect.

Thank you all for your continual prayers, your help, your thoughts, etc. It's a long road.