Friday, July 11, 2014

There and back again

I remember some random things from that frightful Sunday back in Dec 2, 2012. A small waiting room with a TV, chairs along the 3 walls, an empty desk with a computer. No one else there since it was a weekend.

I remember that the Bears played the Seahawks in Russell Wilson's rookie year.

I remember deliberately trying to watch that game, check my fantasy team, anything to take my mind off the fact that my daughter was in surgery to remove a cancerous brain tumor that we had just found out about the night before.

I remember lots of family, friends cycling thru that room, with tears, hugs, food that I couldn't hold in.

I remember sitting in that waiting room for almost 14 hrs, wondering if my daughter would make it.

I remember being so exhausted from stress and no sleep, but not being able to take a nap or find some way to rest.

It's fitting that today, Friday, July 11, 2014, 586 days later, the day of Sophie's port removal, that they tell us to go to the 7th floor for the procedure. And as I walk in, I realize that it's that same waiting room from Sunday, Dec 2, 2012. 

This time though it's a much different feeling, much different disposition, with much more hope for the future.

When the pediatric surgeon, Dr. Hunter walked into the waiting room, with a smile, and with a bag, it hit me all at once. I've kept much of my emotions inside since those first few months, but seeing that port just really got to me.

Thank you, port, for the past 18 months. All of the blood draws, chemo infusions, platelet/blood transfusions, daily TPN that kept her nourished when she couldn't/wouldn't eat, this port has served its purpose and then some. Another milestone in this cancer journey. It doesn't end here, but today was a significant day.