It's hard to imagine what life was like before then. One could definitely make the case that it was "better." We were a "normal" family living a "normal" life in the suburbs. Nothing special, nothing crazy.
Now, our life is full of monthly hospital visits for chemo, nightly TPN infusions, every 3-4 hr trips to the bathroom, germ/fever fear, low blood counts = hospital visits for transfusions, and the tri-monthly MRIs, the ultimate check to see if this monster has come back.
We do get a taste of normal here and there; Below is a pic from this morning's trip to Taste of Wheaton, where Soph loved the big slide, and the ferris wheel.
These are the memories that I want to continue to create, and hold on to. The squeals of joy when we go down a slide. Never mind the fact that it cost us $2.50, or that somehow we spend $24 on really greasy, really bad cheese fries, miniscule corn dog & hot dog, and artificial lemonade. (ouch, how did that happen?) Life is short. Hopefully not too short, but we have learned to live this way.
Next week is chemo cycle #3 of 9. It's regimen B, which is the first time we've seen this one. Chemotherapy cyclophosphamide will be the main cocktail this time, along with vincristine, which we've seen regularly. A quick glance at its wikipedia page states, "Cyclophosphamide is itself carcinogenic." sigh. There's that double-edged sword again. What can we do but trust the doctors, trust the treatments, and pray.
Others who have traveled this same journey speak of the cumulative effect of chemo, how it adds up, and gets more difficult to endure as you go along, more frequent blood transfusions. We do not look forward to these, but will take it as it comes. Soph has still been great thru all this, and though a lot of her positive attitude and disposition can be tied to childhood innocence and not knowing any better, there's something about this girl's strength, determination, and positivity that defies logic and cannot be easily explained.
26 Saturdays from now, we'll have a new member of the family that we'll be welcoming, and we'll be very eager to finish the final 2 cycles of treatment. Life will again be dramatically different, and we are looking forward to see what it will bring.
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