2 months ago today.

We took Sophie to the ER at Central Dupage Hospital and at 10:45pm on Dec 1, our lives changed forever with the unbelievable diagnosis that she had a 5cm brain tumor.

Jeannie and I look at each other every night, and we cannot believe this is happening to our daughter. The past 2 months have been ..... words don't come. Life has gone on, of course, or should I say time has passed, but I still have not fully grasped this. My lovely little Sophie has brain cancer. How can this be possible? Why? How? Where did this come from? It still seems like a haze, a nightmare, but I come home every day and it's real. and it's sad.

But we must move forward. We have no other option. The future does scare me, but what can we do but hope and pray for mercy? Every night when I put Selah down for sleep, our prayer is for God to have mercy on us. The first few days of our nightmare in Dec, the Habakkuk 3:2 came to me. Back in college, we had a Bible memory verse contest, and if I recall correctly, I memorized a LOT of verses. Fast forward 15 years, and my Bible reading is few and far in between, but the Habakkuk verse is something that I feel that God is bringing to us.

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord. Repeat them, in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath, remember mercy."

I hope that this will not just be my daily prayer, but it will be a call to return to full dependence on Him. There were past times in our lives where we were close to the heartbeat of God, when we knew of His fame, and stood in awe of His deeds, but in recent years it has been more of a self-sufficient attitude. I think the verse above is a call to return to those younger days of dependence, not on self, money, status, even doctors, but to acknowledge and embrace the sovereignty of God.

After today, 7 more radiation sessions. We need to confirm, but we think Tues, Feb 12 will be the last day of radiation. We are planning a sort of celebration that day for lunch at the Wheaton Chick-fil-a. If you are available, you are welcome to join us there. Specific details have not yet been set, but we hope Sophie's friends, schoolmates, can join us in celebrating the end of radiation. There may also be a larger event at CFA in the evening later in Feb, so we'll keep you posted on those details.