Looming

Looming. That's a good word to describe what's to come next week.

On Monday, March 11, we'll go downtown for a full brain and spinal MRI, which will check to see if there's any sign of cancer cells. This is where we cross fingers and pray that for NED (no evidence of disease). It's what keeps many parents on edge. Hopefully we'll get back in time for the Chick-fil-a for the Cho's event at the Wheaton CFA. Please come anytime between 5-8, eat dinner there. Proceeds from the event will go towards our medical costs.

Then on Tues, March 12, Soph will be admitted to Lurie Children's for 2 days for her first maintenance cycle of chemo. She'll receive Regimen A of the lomustine and cisplatin over 6 hrs that first day. Tuesday will be a long day, and Soph will get restless for sure, being confined to her bed and connected to an IV.

Hopefully we can get discharged on Wednesday, if everything goes as planned. She also has a hearing test on Tuesday (as one of cisplatin's side effects includes loss of high-frequency hearing), and a dose of pentamidine (pneumonia vaccine).

Selah will join us downtown and stay at the Ronald McDonald house on Tuesday with me and my mom, who'll come to help. We think Selah being around will be a positive influence with Soph, and us too. I remember back in Dec, how the youngest and most naive of us Cho's, was able to lift our spirits with her warm, happy personality. (She's the nicest one in our family, btw)

Please pray that there will be no complications, for Soph to not get too annoyed/mad/restless, and for us to trust that God wants the best for Soph.

These past 3.5 weeks or so of no treatment, no hospital visits has flown by. Life feels somewhat normal, with work for me, Soph back in school full-time (she didn't want to just stay for an hour!), but it's not normal.

People ask us all the time how we are doing. Mostly out of habit; most conversations respond with a "fine" and everyone moves on. We are not really fine, but sometimes we say fine, to spare the other parties of the difficult realities of our situation.

Cancer is one of those things that doesn't go away with time. You could be sick, with a cold, or maybe something more serious, like mono, break a bone, and most of those things get better with time. Cancer doesn't. One could argue that with chemo/radiation treatment, it does get better by killing those cancer cells, but the terrible side effects from those treatments always leave a cloud above your life.

We have still yet to fully accept our reality, and try to move on with completely positive attitudes. It's not easy, but we know there is power there that can help Soph, and for sure help us.