Hair loss

Into our 14th day of radiation treatment, hair loss has started, and falling out at a rapid pace. Hair on her pillow in the morning, in the bath, on her clothes, on the floor. We are just quietly picking it up and throwing it away. Sophie does not seem to be paying any attention, besides getting annoyed when a lot of hair falls on her iPad. She still has some hair, maybe she will have a reaction when it's all gone. We also need to prepare Selah, somehow, some way. By Sunday or Monday, it should be all out.

Hair loss is an interesting thing. People try to reassure us by saying that it will grow back. Though this is a true statement, it does not make us feel any better. Maybe I'm stating the obvious, but the hair loss, perhaps one of the most minor consequences of this brain cancer, is the most visible, sobering sign that cancer is/will be a part of our lives forever. I mean, we've been thru a 10+ hr surgery to remove the tumor, Soph was intubated, stuck in a hospital for 18 days, can't walk or run like she used to, lost a lot of weight, but the hair loss is like a slap in the face from cancer, reminding us that it's here.

I just look at her and can't help but to remember when she was a baby and was nursing, how she would grab Jeannie's hair as she nursed. Then as she grew bigger, how she would start to run her fingers thru her own hair and that's when we knew she was tired. It's not just hair.

Hats, wigs, who knows? Should we go to church? How will other kids react? How will Soph feel? How will her sister react? So many questions. It's like watching a train approach to hit you, but you can't get out of the way. You know you won't die, but you can't control the fact that it's going to hit you and it's going to hurt like hell. Sorry for the extreme analogy.

Today was a tough day. The weekend will be a challenge as well.